Topic: Personal Commentary
Dig the picture to the left. It's a sad state of affairs when George W. is the most photogenic in a picture. I mean, what the hell are they all looking at!?!? I had no idea that daughter Barbara (left) was so hideously malformed by scoliosis. Seriously, stand up straight for God's sake!
That out of the way, I've been giving some thought to this marriage. I've no doubt that Jenna - her portrayal in ROBOT CHICKEN aside - is a wonderful woman and will make that Hager boy a fine wife. Yet there is more to mate choosing than simple compatibility. One must consider the inlaws.
George and Laura are whackadoos. I mean, George sees things that aren't there (WMDs) and is given to bouts of unprovoked rage (declaring war on Iraq) whereas Laura is a man-killer. I can only imagine how stressful a visit with these inlaws might be.
Which George do you get on that visit?
Good Time George with beer in hand?
Or bomb you back to the Stone Age George?
Perhaps John McCain would be a better fathere-in-law? He seems an agreeable sort, but I doubt that you could ever complain about your day to him.
"I had the worst day ever," You might say to him.
"Oh really?" He'd ask. "Were you tortured while suffering from dysentery?"
"Nossir," You'd mumble in response, "I just had a lot of phone calls."
"Pussy!"
Yeah, I don't think I'd want McCain for an inlaw either.
I think the guy to have as your father-in-law has got to be Bill Clinton. He's got a sense of humor, likes to eat, likes to drink. I can totally see myself sitting on the porch drinking beer and smoking cigars. Note: Always bring your own cigars to Bill's house.
You have no idea where his have been!
Seriously.
Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net
