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The Bastard's Blog
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Funnybooks with Aron & Paulie - Predictions for 2008
Topic: Comics

Because Paul and I are so wise, we offer our predictions for 2008... 

PAUL: The Dark Knight will not be the true-to-the-comics Batman movie everyone has always wanted, but everyone will love it anyway because it'll just be that good.

ARON: I have some concerns about this movie, largely relating to Heath Ledger as The Joker. Still, I am excited about it and have resolved to release creative control of the film.

PAUL: Best book of the year: The Spirit, written by Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier with art by Mike Ploog .

ARON: You're pushing this SPIRIT thing pretty hard. You're gonna make me read it, aren't you?

PAUL: The Justice League/American Heroes movie will get delayed. George Miller will leave the project.

ARON: Yeah, you don't need a crystal ball for this one.

PAUL: Marvel's Secret Invasion will see the cancellation of Mighty Avengers and Ms. Marvel, at minimum. Probably Thunderbolts, Wolverine: Origins, and Black Panther, also. (though Wolvie Origins will be unrelated to Secret Invasion). Don't be surprised if She-Hulk gets the axe too.

ARON: First, you leave Ms. Marvel alone! That's a great book! And I rather like Black Panther, too. I hadn't been reading BP, but I picked up almost the entire run at WWTX and - wow - that's really entertaining. She-Hulk is bound to be cancelled, though. Peter David's writing it.  Brother gets no love these days.

PAUL: Mary Jane will reveal the truth to Peter Parker about the deal with Mephisto before year's end.

ARON: This is the only way the story makes sense. In fact, OMD could redeem itself by serving as Act I in a larger story in which *May* finds out about it and corrects the problem returning us to the previous status quo. Wouldn't it be great if they wrote that story?

PAUL: Every Marvel super hero is, or has at one point been, a Skrull. Seriously. Appearances where a character acts out of character, or does something unexpected or stupid, will be explained as a temporary Skrull replacement. It'll be used to explain why Spidey and Wolverine can be in multiple places at the same time. But Secret Invasion won't be horrible. It'll be more of a continuity fixer than an all out change to the Marvel universe (their version of a Crisis).

 

ARON: I predict SECRET INVASION will be on par with the energy of Civil War, but will have the satisfying ending of SINESTRO CORPS WAR and will set up the next two years of might Marvel madness (I really likes me some Bendis)

PAUL: Final Crisis will suck. But Nightwing will probably die.

ARON: You and Dan Didio have really got it in for Nightwing, don'tcha? You just won't be satisfied until all my favorite heroes are dead and buried. Well screw you, Paul! Screw. You.

PAUL: The Fifth World will probably be explained as the "big seven" being considered the New Gods, but not actually having to die to become them. Except for Hal Jordan, as he will be removed enough from this storyline in order to build up to The Blackest Night, in 2009. Which will be better than Final Crisis.

ARON: Agreed.

PAUL: Mark Millar will write something with Superman or Batman after his exclusive contract with Marvel ends in mid-2008. The sting of literally undoing EVERYTHING he did in Civil War will be his reasoning. Hopefully, it'll be Superman/Batman.

ARON: I think it's SUPERMAN and it's a total reboot.

PAUL: 2009 predictions... The Kuberts' exclusive agreement won't be renewed at DC. Nor will Joe Mad's at Marvel. Jeph Loeb will come back to DC...

ARON: 2009?!?! Oh no you di'n't! Well, I agree with you on all of this but Loeb. He's been integral in developing a lot of the big stories at Marvel. I see him moving to non-exclusives if he doesn't renew at Marvel.

PAUL: GI Joe's license won't be renewed with Devil's Due Entertainment. If it is, there will be a reboot after the current WWIII storyline .

ARON: Dollars to donuts, Marvel gets this one back.

PAUL: We'll never see Young Avengers II by Allan Heinberg and Jim Cheung.

ARON: Oh you'll see it, but it'll be right after ULTIMATE HULK VS WOLVERINE wraps up.  Which is to say, some time after hell freezes over.

PAUL: Pretty obvious Bucky will be the new Cap. Still, Steve Rogers will be back, but not as Captain America (does anyone remember when this story was published about Batman and called Knightfall and Prodigy?) .

ARON: Yeah, and it wasn't good! At least Knightfall wasn't. Prodigy was cool... Nightwing was in it. You know him, Paul. He's the guy you want dead!!! Sigh... The only prediction that I'll make about Cap is that I think they will eff it up and then restore Steve Rogers to the shield.

PAUL: There will be one more season of The Batman, but probably re-purposed into a new Justice League show. People will still complain that it's not as good as the Bruce Timm show.

ARON: Well, it's not!

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net


Posted by Aron Head at 8:48 AM CST
Updated: Saturday, 5 January 2008 10:01 AM CST
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Fear The Con - Just One Seat Left in My Game!
Topic: Fear The Con

Just one seat left in the ALL FLESH MUST BE EATEN game that I'll be running at March 8th's Fear The Con in beautiful, scenic St. Charles, Missouri.  Sign up fast!  You don't want to miss the opportunity to have your flesh devoured when the zombie apocalypse rolls in to the sleepy township of Calhoun.

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net
 

 

 


Posted by Aron Head at 7:25 AM CST
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Tuesday, 1 January 2008
Funnybooks with Aron & Paulie - Best Moments of 2007
Topic: Comics

PAUL:  I'm trying to figure out my top 10 comic moments of 2007 and am having some difficulties:

  1. Sinestro Corps War
  2. Batman #666
  3. Top Cow’s First Born
  4. JLA/Hitman
  5. The Spirit #11
  6. Robin #169 (based on the cover alone)
  7. 52 Spin Offs - Black Adam: The Dark Age and The Four Horseman
  8. Teen Titans #51
  9. Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #23 (where JJJ kicks the crap out of Peter Parker)

ARON:  Looking at your list, it's amazing to me how much of what you've listed that I have not read.  I am totally in agreement on the SINESTRO CORPS WAR.  It's not just the best story arc of teh year, I think it's in the top five of the last 10 years.  It's that good.

PAUL:  Totally agree!

ARON:  I am really enjoying the BLACK ADAM 52 spin off.  Great stuff.  Particularly that first issue where he eats his retainers.

PAUL:  Yeah, totally love Black Adam and the Four Horseman (written by Keith Giffen and featuring one of the best best Batman scenes of the year with Snapper Carr).

ARON:  Robin #169 did have a pretty cover.  I've not read any of the others on your list.  I'd have to add the STARLORD mini to such a list.  And the new THOR ongoing.

PAUL: I've not read STARLORD or THOR - one day!  I almost picked up the released issues of Annhilation Conquest recently.
 
ARON:  Marvel's really got something cooking with their SciFi titles.  There's a nice space opera quality that they've managed to capture.  I'm digging this hard!  And THOR...?  There is something charming about Thor rebuilding Asgard outside a dusty rural Oklahoma town.  JMS does some great work capturing simple moments yet making them seem grand.  Like Thor walking out to the curb and checking Asgard's mailbox...

PAUL: So... One More Day?
 
ARON: Wow... I kept expecting them to pull a rabbit out of their hat.  This is so bad.
 
PAUL:  Yeah, I looked at the issue.  I want to read it, but at the same time, I don't, because I know it'll make me angry.  I mean, Spider-Man makes a deal with the devil and loses his wife?  Who asked for this storyline?  Seriously, I can't think of anyone who wasn't happy with Spidey being married.
 
ARON:  Joe Quesada is the only one I know who wasn't happy with the old status quo.  For a "hero" to make a deal with the devil...?  I mean, death by old age is a natural occurence, right? 
 
PAUL:  I was thinking the same thing - of all heroes, Spidey makes a deal with the devil.  That's just... out of character.  And who cares is Aunt May dies?  No one!
 
ARON:  And what penalty is it to Spidey if he doesn't remember the deal he made?
 
PAUL:  Exactly.  I get the impression MJ does, but still.  Seems kind of pointless. 

ARON:  'Tell you, I sure am glad I don't read the Spider-books.  This would have cheesed me off.

PAUL:  As much as I dig some of the creators on the next couple of storylines, I think I may pass.

ARON:  Smart man... So, Paul, predictions for 2008?

...Stay tuned....

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 

Posted by Aron Head at 1:14 AM CST
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Sunday, 30 December 2007
Wife Wants Wii
Topic: Console Gaming

There are certain phrases that we men of the married variety long to hear from our wives. 

For example:

  •  "Pizza tonight?"
  • "Cherry Pit?"
  • "Let's watch all six of the original crew Star Trek movie DVDs with cast commentary and invite all your friends over to argue about Star Trek V!"

But one phrase that I never hoped nor dare dreamed would ever spring from Suzanne's mouth was "I think I'd like a Wii."

Now the first time she mentioned this, I thought she was screwing with me.  It was Christmas Day, I believe.  I didn't take the conversation too seriously.  She had some questions about the system and the games available.  It was a rather low key discussion.

Still... 

Last night on the way home from dinner, she said it again.

"I think I'd like a Wii."

I nearly stopped the car.

"Really?" I asked, still incredulous.

"Really," She assured.

So the hunt is on.

Baby wants a Wii?  Baby gets a Wii. 

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net 

 


Posted by Aron Head at 12:52 PM CST
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Saturday, 29 December 2007
What Benefit is Sight?
Topic: Personal Commentary

I have worn glasses since I was eighteen years old. 

When I was 17, I had 20/20 vision.  By the time I was eighteen, I could no longer read the chalk board from the back of the classroom.  I marveled that my eyesight could change so drastically over such a short period of time.

I have since learned that this is not uncommon for boys.

"You have acute myopia," The doctor told me.

"Why thank you," I smiled in response.

On my way home from the ophthalmologist that day, I called my mom.  In a grim voice I informed her,  "The diagnosis is in.  I have acute myopia."

"Oh my God!"   

She wasn't amused when I told her that it just meant that I'm near sighted.

Earlier this year, I turned forty.  Right on cue, I observed some difficulty with my vision.  This too, is not uncommon I learned.

I called to schedule an appointment with my optometrist for a Thursday morning...

"I'm sorry," The lady at the scheduling desk told me, "Dr. Reynolds is not available on Thursday.  I'll schedule you with Dr. Neal."

"NO!"  I exclaimed.  I took a moment to calm myself, "I'd really rather see Dr. Reynolds.  When is she available?"

Dr. Reynolds (not her real name) is adorable.  She smells so good.  And when she leans in to look into your eyes, it's like she's looking into your very soul.

I have a little crush on her, you see. 

Which is okay, because Suzanne has a crush on her dentist - or as she calls him - Dr. Hottie.

Because I like to spend as much as time as possible with Dr. Reynolds, I requested to include the Digital Retinal Imaging into my exam.

"That won't be covered by your insurance," I was informed.  "It's an additional $40."

"That's fine," I answered.  Small price to pay for more time with my lovely optometrist.

"You were right," Dr. Reynolds said as she completed my exam.  "You're having some difficulty with reading close-up.  You're distance vision is unchanged."

"Oh God," I groaned, "Will the word 'focal' be appearing in my new prescription?"

"'Fraid so."

Crap.

"Other than that," She continued, "Your eyes are healthy.  No problems at all."

You know, Suzanne has had the good fortune to need bridgework allowing for lots of time with her Dr. Hottie. 

Me?  I have to have healthy eyes!  I knew I should have jabbed a stick in my eye before I went to see Dr. Reynolds.

So, here I sit wearing my new frames complete with "progressive" lenses allowing me to see both near and far.  It is a good thing, they tell me, to be able to see the world with clarity.  Yet I am sad.  For what benefit is sight when one must wait an entire year before seeing Dr. Reynolds once again?

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net

 

 


Posted by Aron Head at 9:27 AM CST
Updated: Saturday, 29 December 2007 11:00 AM CST
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Friday, 28 December 2007
ZunePhone (or How Rodger Made Me Pee Myself)
Topic: Video

My buddy Rodger sent this to me.  I laughed so hard, I pee'd myself!  Rodger likes it when I pee myself.

 
Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net
 

Posted by Aron Head at 10:32 PM CST
Updated: Friday, 28 December 2007 10:35 PM CST
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Aron Smash!!
Topic: PS2

Man... I picked up INCREDIBLE HULK: ULTIMATE DESTRUCTION for my old, beloved PS2 today.  Wow... this game is freakin' awesome.  Truly, truly smash-worthy!

Just like Marvel Ultimate Alliance, I picked this one up a bit late.  The game came out back in 2005.

It provides exactly the type of experience you're looking for from a game featuring ol' Jade Jaws.  Acting as the Hulk, you can pick up and smash just about everything.  And people - when you approach them - scream and run away.  

Even better, they cry when the Hulk picks 'em up, "Agh!  Help me!"

"I can't feel my legs!"

"Aiiiieeee!"

The game allows the player to profoundly damage the environment.  I cannot begin to express how gratifying that is. 

I giggled the whole time I played it this evening.

The Hulk and I have a lot in common, you see.  The madder he gets, the stronger he gets whereas the madder I get, the more sarcastic I get.

Aron is the smart-assiest there is!!!  RAAAAARGH!

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net 

 


Posted by Aron Head at 7:42 PM CST
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Tuesday, 25 December 2007
Christmas Traditions
Topic: Holidays

Our Christmas tradition starts on Xmas Eve.  We start the evening with a tex-mex dinner.  This year, we went to Joe T's for supper.

Now, Joe T's ain't the best Mexican food around, but it's good.  If we'd had our 'druthers we'd have gone to La Playa Maya, Fiesta or El Paseo - but these were all closed yesterday.

We actually go to Joe T Garcia's fairly often, but usually it's for a fundraiser for various 501c3's the Wife and I support.  They have a beautiful garden and patio area.   That's where we usually dine.  In fact up until last night in our nearly eight years of marriage, Suzanne and I have never eaten in the dining room together.  It was too cold for al fresco last night, though.

We dined inside.

Dating myself here, but the last time I ate in the dining room at Joe T's was during the Cullen Davis Murder TrialsRacehorse Haynes sat at the table next to us.  Richard "Racehorse" Haynes was the Johnny Cochrane of his day.  I'm sure if we'd had Court TV back in the day, he'd be a household name outside of Texas... as it is, anybody who was old enough to watch the news from '75 on down here in the Lone Star state knows all about him.

But I digress. 

Dinner was nice.

As ever the nachos rocked, but the enchiladas were a bit "meh."

Afterwards, the traditions continued as we drove through various neighborhoods looking at Christmas lights and then embarked on our annual, fruitless endeavor to find a Starbucks open on Xmas Eve.  No joy.  Suzanne had to make-do with 7-11 coffee.

We then went on to church to sing carols just before the Mid-Night Mass.  The Wife and I are cradle Episcopalians.  The index of The Book of Common Prayer is written in our DNA.  Christmas without midnight mass is a little like Diet Coke without the fizz.

Between hymns, Suzanne produced a tin of mints offering me one.

"No thank you," I whispered.

She provided a slight shake to the tin, further encouraging me.

"No thank you," I repeated.

"Take," She urged me with a timbre that compelled compliance, "The mint!"

Later, she would tell me that there was a decidedly ranchero quality to my breath.  

After services, we stopped back in at 7-11 for a Slurpee.  The Slurpee aspect of our tradition goes back to the first Christmas Suzanne and I spent together, back when we were dating.  We both were fighting colds and needed the Slurpees for throat relief.  It was the same the year after and the year after that.  After three years of Slurpees, it became our tradition - sore throats or otherwise.

Now, just because one goes to a 7-11 doesn't mean that the Slurpees are ready to serve.  Often, we have to hit more than one. 

Much like the Magi travelling far from the east following a star to the birth site of God made flesh, we travel in search of Slurpees ready-to-serve.  It is not unusual that we hit two or three stores.

Last night, we got it right the first time.  Truly, a Christmas miracle!

Sipping on our tasty frozen beverages, we drove home.  

On Christmas Day, we drink.

Seriously.

We started the morning with mimosas.  While breaking our fast on a sumptuos Croissant Breakfast Pudding prepared by The Wife with some fresh fruit, we drank mimosas.  We exhchanged gifts and... well that's thirsty work, so more mimosa.

After present opening is accomplished, Suzanne moved onto bloody marys.  She is especially partial to ol' Red Eye's horseradish mix.  I hads me a few screwdrivers before transitioning to beer at the noon hour.

The libations continued all afternoon and will progress through the night. 

Suzanne is making a roast leg of lamb with dark beer, honey, and thyme.  We'll have wine with that.   And I am looking forward to a glass of port and a cigar on the porch.

It's like Suzanne says, "Anybody who believes you can't drink your problems away simply isn't drinking enough."

It's been a cozy day here at the house.

Thank God I don't have to drive anywhere!

Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net 

 

 

 


Posted by Aron Head at 4:47 PM CST
Updated: Tuesday, 25 December 2007 5:51 PM CST
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Monday, 24 December 2007
Merry Christmas from the Heads
Topic: Holidays

Have a wonderful and happy holy day! 
 
Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net 

 


Posted by Aron Head at 5:30 PM CST
Updated: Monday, 24 December 2007 2:31 PM CST
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'Twas the Dark Knight Before Christmas
Topic: Comics
 
Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net 

Posted by Aron Head at 4:32 PM CST
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