Barbie Fights Crime!
This ain't your momma's Barbie. This one might kick your butt!
And you know, she's kind of hot.
This figure is one of four DC super-hero themed Barbie figures for 2008. In addition to Black Canary featured to the left, Batgirl, Supergirl, and Wonder Woman are also featured. Very nice figures all.
Too bad they're not doing any Marvel Barbies. I'd love to see a Ms. Marvel. Or perhaps a She-Hulk.
All of this puts me in mind of playing with my cousin Lora so many years ago...
Lora had a gigantic doll house in which all of her Barbies and other dolls took residence. Kind of like the FACTS OF LIFE. Going over there, I would bring The Hulk, Captain America, Big Jim, The Six Million Dollar Man, and my Micronauts. Some kind of intergalactic war would inevitably roll into the neighborhood necessitating that Captain America and his team of alien fighters use Lora's dollhouse as their HQ.
"I'm sorry, Miss Roberts." Cap would explain to Barbie, "It's a matter of global security."
She had some initial misgivings - some political, others social. But the noble charm of the sentinel of liberty won her over. Accomodating the visiting heroes, the Barbies made room. It was crowded, but they all strove to listen and learn from each to make it work.
Barbie and her girls provided support as a hospital unit as well as a USO.
When they weren't battling alien scum, the heroes helped out around the house. Colonel Steve Austin made short work of the dishes with his bionic abilities. And who knew The Hulk could vacuum?
"The madder Hulk gets, the tidier he gets!"
Pansy slack-ass Ken showed up at some point. In fairly short order, his role as collaborator in the alien attack stood revealed. The Hulk was dispatched to dispose of the simpering traitor.
After Baron Karza's barrage on their fortifications, Cap and Barbie found themselves trapped beneath the rubble. Frightened, alone, yet both unharmed, they were cut-off from the others.
In the dark quiet - safe for the moment - lips found each other.
Our side wins the wore and as Cap took his leave, he thanked Barbie for her kindness.
Barbie smiles, eyes sparkling. "We have a room for you if you find yourself back this way."
"I..." Captain America hesitated, "I have some leave due me. Perhaps you could show me around town?"
"I'd like that."
But he never did make it back there. Soldiers have no control of where the winds of war sweep them. Cap was off fighting other battles in faraway lands, and having dirty, degrading sex with other local, doe eyed women.
In those rare quiet moments between cosmic conflicts, Cap swirls the scotch in his glass and wonders. What about Barbie...?
Posted by Aron Head
at 9:13 AM CST
Updated: Sunday, 17 February 2008 2:32 PM CST