Reduction in Sin
Topic: Religion
In church today, my priest preached on the First Letter of Peter. In First Peter, we are directed to be in the world, not of the world. Today's sermon reminded us that we are sojourners - or resident aliens - in a foreign land and that it is incumbent on us to maintain our spiritual purity out in the sinful culture of the world.
Side Note Here: My priest rails on "The Culture" on a weekly basis. One day it dawned on me. I write a blog! Crap! I'm the sinful culture he keeps nattering on about! I suppose with a domain name like EvilBastard.net, I shouldn't be surprised.
I've turned it into a drinking game. Each time he says "The Culture" in his sermon, I take a shot. A mental shot, anyway. I don't actually take the flask in with me, though that's sounding like a better and better idea all the time.
While he only said "The Culture"twice today, he said it eight times last week! High on Christ? No! High on gin! But I digress...
Early in his sermon, he said: "We cannot achieve a life free of sin, but we can have a reduction in sin."
And that's where he lost me. My mind went somewhere else entirely.
Sin Reduction.
The term sounded like something I'd hear in the conference room.
I envision a table full of directors and executives being led in grand fashion by our CEO.
"Sin was through the roof last year," She'd say gesturing to a graph illustrating her point projected onto the wall screen. "Ideally, we'd be without sin - but it'll take us awhile to get there and we will get there. Effective immediately, I am tasking this team with a 20% quarter-over-quarter reduction in sin."
There'd be applause around the room, cheering such an audacious goal.
I'd be assigned to a Six Sigma team in which we would develop, implement, and refine our sin reduction initiatives. We'd target specifc sins at first, going after that low-hanging fruit:
- Stealing of office supplies;
- Lying in self-evaluations; and
- Surfing porn-sites.
I foresee drafting quality improvement initiatives for Quality Management Committee review and assigning sin reduction outcome objectives to my staff.
"Measurable goals," I'd tell them in staff meeting. "Peterson, I'm liking your adultery numbers. Bondurant, great reduction in coveting! And, Weightman? Way to go on the not killing anyone last week! Good hustle, people. Good hustle!"
Our first year after implementation of the Sin Reduction strategy would be hailed as a tremendous success and branded a best practice. I'd be asked to lead a workgroup rolling out Sin Reduction to all markets.
Industry magazines would laud my brilliance and call me a visionary!
Before you know it, I'd be keynote speaking at capacity conferences and interviewed on Good Morning America by Robin Roberts.
I blinked, reflecting on all of this as my priest wrapped up his sermon. Somehow, I suspect I missed his point.
Aron Head
www.EvilBastard.net
Posted by Aron Head
at 2:48 PM CDT
